Tied to Death
by Kherianne
Summary: The first time he wakes up, it is raining. He looks around but everything is unfamiliar. There are a few people around but they do not see him. But he sees her. Her eyes are red but they are dry. He gets the impression that she has already used up all her tears. But when he comes up to her and brushes his ghostly fingers against hers, the tears start to flow again.
1. Prologue I: Pharos

The first time he wakes up, it is raining.

He looks around but everything is unfamiliar. There are a few people around but they do not see him. But he sees her.

She's small, even smaller than him, with short, auburn hair in pigtails. A guardian is holding an umbrella over her head. Her gaze rests on the hole in the ground in front of them, where they are lowering her mother's remains. Her father's will follow soon after.

Her eyes are red but they are dry. He gets the impression that she has already used up all her tears.

But when he comes up to her and brushes his ghostly fingers against hers, the tears start to flow again.

.

* * *

.

He thinks the second time he wakes is a year later. He's uncertain. Most of the time, he's thinks he's not really awake but simply dreaming. Try as he might, he can't say for sure.

She's standing in front of a building with a man and a woman. He knows that this is not her first time here. In fact, she's being taken back to the orphanage after an unsuccessful adoption.

But this time, she does not cry when he touches her hand. She does, however, cock her head thoughtfully in his direction but he knows that she can't see him.

.

* * *

.

The next time he sees her, she is a lot taller and her hair is longer. She seems happy. He later learns that the orphanage has managed to find her next of kin who were living abroad and who agreed to support her.

She's in middle school now, with a lot of friends, and is doing well, all things considered. He's happy for her. But she seems farther than ever from him.

.

* * *

.

Then, for the first time, he does not peacefully wake from his slumber. The pull to consciousness is rough, abrupt, and leaves him disoriented. Her muffled sobs come from the bed as she tightly holds a pillow to her chest.

She's witnessed an accident today. It's nothing like the explosion seven years ago but it's enough to trigger the painful memories. She's terrified. And feels lost.

And also for the first time, he finds himself wishing for a real body as he wraps his arms gently around her.

Strange. Didn't he have a body? He feels... incomplete somehow. Like parts of his soul are missing. She is the only anchor he has.

.

* * *

.

She's in love. At least that's what it looks like to him. She's met this boy in school and is talking to her friend about confessing her feelings to him.

It's a concept very foreign to him. What is love? He begins to wonder.

Her friend suggests writing a letter. '_To my dearest—_' but she cuts her friend off, and they laugh together. Her face is very red.

She's crushed when the boy rejects her and it's irrational that he can feel anger towards this unnamed boy and relief at the same time.

_My dearest..._

_._

* * *

.

He can feel himself getting stronger. The times between his wakeful states is getting shorter and shorter. He's able to watch her for longer periods and he is content to be by her side at night.

He is as surprised as she is when it is announced that she will be transferring to Gekkoukan High School in Tatsumi Port Island. The name triggers something in him, but he cannot place it.

He wishes that there had been some sort of warning before their lives changed forever.

.

* * *

.

A day before she is set to transfer, he is summoned by an unnatural force, unnatural to him, anyway. He's long accepted that he is different from her and her world. He doesn't know what he is, but he knows he doesn't belong. But that's fine. If he can be close to her, then that is all that matters.

He finds himself in an elevator with deep blue furnishings everywhere he looks. And in the center of it all, a figure introduces himself as Igor. Igor hands him a contract and tells him that it is time for them to finally meet.

_Do you know who I am?_ he asks Igor, clutching the contract in his pale hand.

Igor smiles. _It is not our place to tell you. The residents of the Velvet Room merely watch and observe but know that she is irrevocably tied to your fate and whatever path she chooses will complete your destiny. You might even say, that both of you are tied together by the Red String of Fate._

_Red String of Fate?_

But Igor merely nods and smiles again. _I request that you ask her to sign that contract so that we may be able to assist her in reaching that destiny._

.

* * *

.

When the door to the Iwatodai Dorm opens and she walks in, illuminated by the greenish tint of the Dark Hour, he knows, instinctively, that she'll be able to see him this time. And because she cannot _possibly_ comprehend how long, how _extremely_ long, he's been waiting for her, the first thing he says to her is:

"Welcome. You're late."

.

* * *

.

And so it begins.

On her first full moon in Iwatodai, she summons a power from the sea of her soul and Orpheus answers.

But something is wrong. _Everything is wrong_.

_He_ wants to help her. _He_ wants to be the one to be there for her.

The manifestation of his desire affects Orpheus. And before any of them registers what's happening, Orpheus is gone and Thanatos is hovering over them all in his full, otherworldly, glory. He brutally falls upon the hapless shadow, tearing it limb from limb.

In the aftermath, exhausted from expending so much energy, she falls unconscious.

He retreats into the limbo of his world, curling up into a ball, clutching his sides. Shame consumes his soul. The only person in this world that he wants to protect and he has caused her undue distress. She cannot handle his power, not yet, anyway.

He will no longer interfere.

_But he can still be her friend right?_


	2. Prologue II: Minako

The first time she sees him, she's not afraid.

He's just a boy. About twelve or thirteen years of age, midnight hair and deep azure eyes, with a mole beneath his left eye. He offers her a contract to sign and tells her that there's nothing to worry about. That all it says is that she accepts full responsibility for her actions. It's a little strange, but she signs her name with a flourish.

Minako Arisato.

.

* * *

.

He appears time and time again. The first time he materializes in her room, she is surprised, to put it mildly.

How did you get in here? She asks. But his answer is even more of an enigma.

I am always with you.

It would take several more months before she fully understands the meaning behind his words.

He brings with him warnings, always cautioning her to be careful. He seems to have lost his memories, but whatever little bit he remembers, he shares with her. He always comes a week before the full moon and talks about the coming of the End. It's all very surreal but with what she knows about the Dark Hour and Tartarus, it would be extremely foolish of her to brush away his words. She wishes, though, that she could comprehend his meaning better.

I'll be watching you. Even if you forget about me.

She can't explain it, but his parting words comfort her.

.

* * *

.

One warm night in June, he asks to be her friend.

He's managed to surprise her again. Aren't we friends already? is what she unthinkingly blurts out.

He chuckles. The sound is soft, pleasant. She thinks the happy expression he wears suits him better than the sad look she often sees on his face. You're right. I didn't need to bring it up, did I? After all, I've been with you from the beginning. My name is Pharos.

Pharos. She has something to call him now. A name to tie to the mysterious presence that only she knows about. She never tells her friends about him. Not because she fears what they'll say, but because she thinks it's too personal. Like what they have should be between them alone.

.

* * *

.

Sometimes, she ponders his true nature. He gave her the contract that enabled her to access the Velvet Room. Was he one of its residents? Like Theodore?

That doesn't seem likely as she's never seen him there. She's tried asking Igor but he only ever answers in riddles.

Was Pharos a ghost? A spirit?

She thinks of his warnings, his concern for her well-being, his gentleness, and the deep sadness she sometimes senses from his gaze.

I'll be watching over you.

Maybe... he is her guardian angel.

.

* * *

.

He tells her of poisonous flowers blooming, one in her garden and three in the garden opposite hers. She knows immediately that the three he's referring to is Strega.

But the last one eludes her. In her own garden? She refuses to believe that anyone from her group would betray them. She doesn't want to doubt her friends.

She gazes at his pale face and sees the worry etched there. She thanks him for the warning and assures him that she'll be careful.

He smiles, pleased. That's what friends are for, right? Well, goodnight, my dearest.

She's left staring at the spot he'd been in. It's somewhat disconcerting to be called one's dearest by anyone, much less by a mysterious boy who only appears during the Dark Hour.

Once again, she wonders who he really is. Or what he is. She doesn't get much sleep that night but dreams of eyes as blue as the ocean.

.

* * *

.

He notices her distress a few nights after Shinjiro's incident and inquires about it. Though she's grateful that senpai survived, it hurts her to see him silent and unmoving in the hospital. He should be watching the late-night cooking channel, helping Fuuka in the kitchen, or fixing Koromaru his food.

He should be having dinner with her.

How does she explain this? It's difficult, but she makes an effort. Pharos nods solemnly.

In this world, people die every day. Until recently, this was the same to me as the blowing of the wind. But now, I see things differently. For the first time, I have a friend.

A friend. For him, the word carries a deeper meaning than it does to her. He always emphasizes their relationship but it's only now that she senses it to be something more. It's almost as if he can't truly believe that they're friends and he needs to constantly re-affirm it.

It saddens her that such a kind and gentle creature could feel this lonely.

He speaks of the Fall again, but this time, he seems tormented. We are kindred spirits, you and I. So why is it only I can remember? This is a heartrending matter. Is my existence something you are unable to accept?

She wishes she has an answer for him but she doesn't comprehend. Not really.

.

* * *

.

For the third time, he surprises her. Sunlight is streaming past her bedroom window and falls upon his smooth face, still as pale as ever. Outside, the birds are chirping and a gentle smile is on his face as he looks at her. She's never seen him in daylight before.

He is telling her goodbye. Somehow, his memories have returned and he has a role to play.

For me, our friendship was a miracle. But miracles don't last forever. If only they did.

The sudden rush of sadness she feels is unexpected. Slowly, imperceptibly, he has wormed his way into her heart. He's so kind, so sincere. Always so concerned for her. He really is a true friend.

Even if today is the end, the bonds between us can never be severed. Remember that.

She keeps his words close. Will she ever see him again?


	3. Ryoji and Minako

The first time he sees the looming structure of his new school, he has a vision. It's not the grey, angular building of Gekkoukan High that stands before him, but a dark, twisting, pointed spire reaching up to an eldritch sky. The vision is gone almost as soon as it appears and he thinks that maybe it's just his imagination. He shakes off the uneasy feeling.

After all, it's his first day as the new transfer student. He's excited. As he takes the path beneath the cherry blossoms towards the entrance of the building, he wonders fleetingly if there are a lot of pretty girls in this school.

And there's something else: an invisible force that tugs his soul towards the place.

A scarlet string...

Where did that thought come from? A lot of weird things seem to be running around his mind today.

.

* * *

.

From across the room, their eyes meet and it's as if the universe halts, and there is no one else but them.

He doesn't know her but feels like he should. Like he's always known her.

She's looking at him with curiosity in her bright, red eyes. He wonders if she feels the same way.

.

* * *

.

She can't quite describe what she feels when he steps into the room. It's a mixture of apprehension, sorrow and relief as if seeing an old friend. And oddly, a sensation of wholeness...

Ryoji Mochizuki.

The name is strange, unfamiliar, one she doesn't recognize. But his face. That expression. Has she seen it before? But where?

Her heart skips a beat when those azure orbs of his focus directly at her.

How odd for a complete stranger to affect her this way. What is it about him...? she wonders.

.

* * *

.

You are dangerous.

He's a little taken aback by the blonde girl's declaration, and the way she protectively stands in front of Minako is telling, but he takes it in stride, joking with her, even flirting a little, to Aigis' consternation.

She doesn't seem to find him threatening, though. In fact, there's warmth in her eyes, twinkling slightly in amusement. He's intrigued.

It's not just a line. He really means it when he tells her that he thinks they'll be good friends.

.

* * *

.

Shaking his hand triggers a faint memory. For some reason, she remembers a cold, rainy day, with somber, mournful faces all around. She can't recall clearly.

But his touch reminds her of a phantom warmth over her hand, a butterfly's caress on that damp day, long forgotten.

.

* * *

.

He once sees her in the hallway, talking animatedly to an upperclassman, the popular one, Akihiko Sanada he thinks is the name. He knows they live in the same dorm along with the student council president and several of their classmates. They seem like a tight-knit group but he's noticed that they sometimes come to school exhausted from the previous night's activities. He wonders what it is they do that makes them so tired.

He watches her smile and nod at the upperclassman. And maybe it's his imagination, but he thinks the older boy's eyes appear to be more gentle when he's talking to her. She catches his eye and waves at him, making Sanada crane his neck around to see who she's waving at. He raises his hand in greeting.

Junpei materializes next to him and elbows him in the ribs. "They make a good couple, don't they?"

He mutters something neutral under his breath that could have been anything but Junpei just smirks. "You better make your move soon if you want to go after her," his friend advises. "But just so you know, she's not interested in Akihiko-senpai in that way. I already tried to set them up once. She laughed and told me I must be blind not to see there was something between him and Mitsuru-senpai." He's not sure whether to be surprised that Junpei seems perfectly at ease with him hitting on his best friend, or that she apparently isn't interested in Sanada, one of the school's certified heartthrobs. Or maybe that Mitsuru, the ice queen, would be interested in anyone at all.

Kenji pops out of nowhere and drapes an arm around each of them. "Are we talking about girls and romance? I'm an expert on the subject, you know."

"Junpei here was just giving me some motivation," he tells Kenji with a smile.

"Pfffft." Kenji scoffs. "Like you even need it. Girls flock to you like flies." He glances at where both Ryoji and Junpei are looking at and sees Minako. "Ah, but I guess with Minako-chan, you might need some help. She's really popular. Top of the class, real pretty, and nice, too! As far as I know, she's never taken any of her admirers seriously. So, you gonna make a move?"

He looks back at her, drinks in that winsome smile. He agrees with everything Kenji just said but... it's not just because of that. There's something about her that draws him. A compulsion so strong, it feels like he has no other choice. Not that he's unwilling, quite the opposite, in fact. He wants nothing more than to give in, to be close to her, closer than anyone else has ever been. Only if she'd let him.

"I'll think about it," is all he says.

But Junpei reads something in his eyes. "Just remember Ryoji, she's my friend, too. If you hurt her, there'll be hell to pay."

He'd never do that. He'd sooner die than hurt her... But why? They'd only just met. He doesn't understand. But he knows it's true. He wants to assure Junpei, it's on the tip of his tongue but something holds him back. In the deepest corner of his heart, he wonders. Why does every step he take towards her feel like it'll end with both of them up in flames?

.

* * *

.

He's popular with the girls but it's not all that unexpected. He's a novelty. Attractive, rich, pleasant and charming to a fault. She's not really surprised.

Occasionally, they catch each other on the train to school. He flirts a little. She always smiles but doesn't take him seriously, either. She's seen him turn on the charm often enough to shrug it off herself.

But one afternoon, when he tells her that he wants to be more sincere with her, that she's not like the others, her face grows a little too warm.

.

* * *

.

"Have you ever heard about the red string of fate?" he asks her one day, after one of Mr. Edogawa's lengthy lectures on magic.

She has. What self-respecting teenage girl wouldn't be interested in romantic notions of destined soulmates? So she nods and tells him what she knows.

"The gods tie an invisible red thread around the little finger of two lovers destined to meet one another regardless of place, time or circumstance."

"Is that so? I never knew that." He looks thoughtful for a while.

"Why do you ask?"

A faraway look crosses his face. "I have this feeling that someone once told me that I was tied to someone by a red string. Could she be my destiny?" He looks back at her and gives a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry. That must sound really weird. But wouldn't that be terribly romantic?"

She smiles. "Then I hope you find her."

.

* * *

.

She's still a mystery to him. She doesn't fawn over him like the other girls do. She's friends with a lot of people and he wants to be close to her, too. So he asks her out.

She easily agrees, to Aigis' chagrin, but they spend a good long while in Chagall cafe. He can't shake the feeling that he knows her from somewhere. Has talked to her before, shared secrets with her.

You know, sometimes I think, I would still like you no matter if you were a guy or a girl.

The words are out of his mouth before he can think better of them. It's probably a really odd thing to say to someone but he honestly feels that way, as if in whatever shape or form, he would still recognize her, still want to be close to her.

Fortunately, she doesn't comment much about it. He doesn't understand why the thought makes him sad, too.

.

* * *

.

Kyoto is a refreshing change of scenery. It's nice to forget about shadows and Tartarus for a while, and just be a regular teenager for a change. She hasn't had this much fun in ages, and it's wonderful to see her friends relax and enjoy themselves.

She's sitting by the riverbank with Ryoji, eating a green tea crepe they had bought from one of the stands. They chat about nothing in particular, the river, couples, Kyoto- safe, trivial topics. Until he mutters to himself:

"Why you, I wonder? Sure you're nice and pretty, but I don't think it's that. It's just... you."

He doesn't mean for her to hear, but she catches it anyway, sitting as close as they were. She keeps her gaze on the river. She thinks about that question, too, sometimes. Why him? He's attractive, gentle, and sincere, but it's not just because of that, too. "Is that so bad?" she asks.

"Huh?" Clearly, he's lost in his own thoughts.

"That it's me."

"Oh." It finally clicks. "Of course not. I just wish I knew why..." He smiles. "But then again, I like it this way, too. Maybe I'm not supposed to know. Maybe, that's how it's supposed to be." He laughs quietly. "I'm not making any sense, am I?"

She reaches out. Covers his hand with hers. He freezes. Up until that moment, she's never shown any hint of returning his interest. He swallows, heart rate escalating dramatically. then slowly flips his palm up to entwine their fingers together. Hesitantly, he darts a sideways glance, only to find her staring right at him. So intense was her gaze that he's sure she's uncovering his deepest, darkest secrets.

"I know exactly what you mean," she says, and gives his hand a squeeze.

.

* * *

.

He finds hope a strange bedfellow. It dances happily on the edge of his brain whenever she smiles back at him, gives him a thumbs up when she blushes at something he says, pats him on the back when her breath grows a bit unsteady because he's standing too close.

It's the little things that make his heart race. When he shows her the ring he bought in Kyoto, she's genuinely happy that he's made wonderful memories and wants to cherish them. When Junpei doesn't show up for most of Career Week, he shares his concern with her and she's deeply worried for her friend, too. She's so kind, compassionate.

It makes him giddy that she'd sneak into the school rooftop on a Sunday with him. She's willing to take a risk, however small, with him. And she doesn't laugh when his anxiety gets the better of him.

"When I'm alone, I don't feel right. I think, I'm scared. Thinking about you, it scares me. The fact that tomorrow will come scares me. But I can't figure out why. Hey Minako-chan, I-I- I'm..." He's rambling, but he can't help it.

"You're Ryoji."

It's so wonderful to hear his name on her lips. She clasps his hands in both of hers as if holding onto him would keep him from falling apart. And it does. The words suddenly tumble out of his mouth. A confession, a plea.

"I... don't want to lose you. Because you're important to me. That's probably why I'm scared. You're... the only one there is for me. The only one I want. So please, stay with me."

The smile she gives him is positively radiant. He slowly lets out a breath he doesn't remember holding and smiles back. She steps into the cradle of his arms, wraps her own around his waist. "Of course," she says, just so there isn't any room for doubt.

He's lightheaded with emotion, practically swaying with her in his arms. She laughs softly and then pulls him closer. A heartbeat... and then his lips are on hers and she's so sweet and soft and willing and everything is simply...

Perfect.

.

* * *

.

She returns home late the next day, after helping Hidetoshi and Chihiro with student council matters. She gives a little start upon opening the dorm and comes face to face with Ryoji, himself. Her mind instantly flashes to their kiss and her face flames.

She barely hears Fuuka say, "You're late. Ryoji-kun was just leaving."

"Minako-chan. Welcome back. Shame you weren't here. I was hoping I'd be able to see you. I'm sorry but I gotta get going. I'll come see you again." He's smirking at her, like he knows exactly what she's thinking.

As he passes, he whispers in her ear, "Could I go to your room next time? I'll be looking forward to it."

"Minako-chan, are you all right? Your face looks a little flushed." Oh, sweet, innocent, oblivious Fuuka. At the back of her mind, she imagines him laughing his head off.

.

* * *

.

Normally, she'd never let a guy inside her room. But when he'd asked to talk to her in private earlier today, there was a serious look in his eye, a heavy undertone in his voice. And to be completely honest, she can't shake the feeling, too. A sense of foreboding. A shadow... always hovering, waiting in her peripheral vision.

He freezes the instant the door to her room swings open. Eyes wide, he takes everything in, but he looks confused. "I think this is... my first time."

"What're you talking about?" she asks.

He looks lost in thought. "Your room... It just feels familiar for some reason. Like I've been here before. I wonder if it's just something that I've dreamed about. Or if I wanted to see it so much that it came to me in a vision."

"I think I've had that dream." She teases. He smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. Her heart drops.

"Huh? Really? Wouldn't it be too romantic... if we really had met each other a long time ago?"

"For what it's worth, you're not the only one who feels that way." she finally admits. "I also feel like I've known you... for a long, long time."

He's quiet for a while. Thoughtful. "I think that I did come to see you. Probably to become friends with you. But I got it all wrong."

"Got what wrong?"

He looks down. "I think what we have is different from just being friends. I think of people like Junpei-kun and Yukari-san as your friends. But I can't imagine thinking of them in the same way I see you. If we were just friends, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. Still... I'm glad. I'm glad that I met you."

She's glad too. So very glad. Even when she feels his deep sorrow. Even when unshed tears gather in her eyes, she's truly happy to have known him, to have felt this way for someone for the first time in her life. "Ryoji..." The moment I saw you... It was like finding a lost part of me.

She's never seen him look so miserable; the quiver in his voice tugs at something deep inside her. "You have such a kind heart. I don't want to hurt you but I feel that I will... It's probably wrong of me to feel this way. It's like... a forbidden love."

Why does it feel like he's saying goodbye? Someone... an old friend, has said goodbye to her in this very room once before.

"Minako-chan, Please touch me. make sure that I exist. Feel for yourself that I'm actually here." She gently touches his hand, slides her fingers across his. "Your hand is so warm. It brings tears to my eyes. Why is that? Please tell me... It's painful deep inside." The tremble in his voice, the sorrow he feels so acutely, she wants to banish them, wants to make it all go away. She slowly runs her fingertips over his palm, his wrist, caressing gently up his arm. His breath catches.

When she reaches his elbow, her other hand mimics the movement, glides up his shoulder where it finally meets its twin behind his neck. She simply holds him for a long time, buries her face under his chin, listens to his breath, which had slightly become ragged. Hers is probably just as unsteady.

She tilts her face up and it is so natural for him to lean down, and meet her lips with his. The kiss is unhurried, bittersweet, full of longing but laced with regret. She's awash in the emotions he tries to convey through the kiss, his deep affection, the conflict he feels, the intense grief. It makes her want to weep. She kisses him harder, presses her body as close as she can, parts her lips wider to welcome his tongue. He's eager, too, exploring the cavern of her mouth with abandon. Despite the haze, she senses that they're out of time, that very soon, what they have will be lost.

He groans when she, in her desire to get closer, inadvertently grinds her hips against his. The sound startles her and she finds it intriguing, so she does it again. His response is immediate, hands flying to her hips to keep her still. He breaks the kiss, much to her dismay and touches his forehead to hers, panting heavily.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"We... we have to stop."

"Why?"

"Minako-chan... We shouldn't..."

"I don't want to stop."

He exhales, closes his eyes for a second because what she just said is setting his nerve-endings on fire and he needs a moment to collect his thoughts. "You... shouldn't give so much of yourself to me. I... I'll probably make you sad."

"I've never been happier than when I'm with you." She says honestly. "Please..." She places a soft kiss on his mouth. "Just for tonight..." Another kiss. "Stay with me."

Because I need you... and we're out of time...

The third kiss that comes after that goes on and on and on and when she pulls him towards her bed minutes later, he doesn't resist.

.

* * *

.

Despite her earlier bravado, she's overcome with shyness when her top and skirt comes off. She's blushing furiously while she lays there quietly underneath him, in nothing but her underwear, avoiding his gaze. He finds it utterly adorable, tries but miserably fails to hide a smile.

"You're making fun of me." Just when he thinks she can't get any cuter, she pouts. His grin widens.

"I'm not. Honest." he says, trying his best to sound sincere.

"Yes, you are."

"I'm just... " A hand settles on her bare knee and slowly glides up her thigh, making her shiver. "...really happy to be with you right now." He pushes any nagging worries to the back of his mind, and vows to focus solely on her. Whatever happens, whatever the consequences, they'll deal with it in due time. He lingers over her abdomen, fingers brushing the undersides of her bra. "Can we take this off?" He asks.

"Only if you lose those, too." she says, indicating his clothes. He's only happy to oblige. Unlike her, he's not shy, basking in her attention with each article of clothing removed. He's very slender, almost like a girl, with skin so smooth and pale, as if he's never out in the sun too long. Soon enough, he's down to his boxers.

She reaches behind to unclasp her bra and his eyes follow the movement. He's looking at her so intently that she feels a bit insecure. Her chest isn't anything spectacular, just average, and she hesitates a tad too long for him to take notice. He leans forward and taps the strap on her shoulder. "May I?"

She nods, blushing all the while. He slowly slides the straps down her arms, baring perfectly-shaped, perky breasts with rosy nipples. Beneath his heated gaze, the tips tighten; her blush grows even deeper.

She's nervous. She's never done this before. It's so obvious to him, and his heart simply melts from the realization of how much she trusts him. He tries his best to set her at ease. He gently cups one of her mounds. It's soft, even softer than the rest of her. He circles a thumb over the taut peak, hears her sharp intake of breath. His free hand finds her other breast and this time, she moans, arching her back into his touch. He leans in to kiss her again, all the while not letting up his gentle ministrations on her chest.

Her own hands pull him closer, splaying themselves over his shoulders and back, caressing any part of him she can reach. His lips leave hers to trace a warm path down her neck, kissing his way to her breast. When he finally takes a nipple into his mouth and begins suckling, her hips jerk involuntarily, seeking relief in other places. But he takes his sweet time, lavishing attention on one breast, before moving to the other. It's a delicious kind of torture, and one she is inexperienced in. Nor does she have the patience to let it go on for much longer, not when she's burning up from wanting him so much.

"Ryoji..." She pants his name softy, lifting her hips to rub herself against the bulge in his boxers and he stills for a while, closing his eyes against the rush of feeling. The thin pieces of fabric between them do little to temper the onslaught of sensation, yet at the same time, its presence heightens the anticipation.

His hand moves south, over the flat expanse of her belly, and slips inside her cotton panties where it fully cups the apex between her thighs. She's too far gone to be embarrassed by the fact that he now knows just how wet and needy she is for him. She just wants more, more, heedlessly spreading her legs wider to give him more access.

She wants this. Wants him. It's a mystery how inexplicably tied to him she feels. He always says that he feels like he's known her far longer than he actually has and while everyone else thought it was just a line, she feels it, too. Knows it to be true deep in her bones and she wants this connection with him. Only with him.

His fingers explore her folds slowly, leisurely and she has to shove a fist in her mouth to keep from crying out lest Yukari or one of the others hear her. It's overwhelming and she wants to tell him to stop, but she also never wants it to end especially when he rubs the sensitive nub of flesh just above her entrance. He's driving her insane. She's so close-

It's harder to pull away from his touch than to shoot herself with an evoker for the first time, but she manages. He looks at her questioningly. He's probably wondering if she's changed her mind.

She's already shaking her head before he's even asked the question but she needs a few seconds to gather herself. "I... I don't want to... not without you."

Thankfully, he understands. He pulls himself up and with a smooth motion, removes his boxers. Her eyes widen; she's never actually seen a naked boy before. Her curious gaze drinks in every inch of him. To her, he is beautiful.

He chuckles. "Would you like to touch me, Minako-chan?" Shyly, she nods. Her own needs forgotten for the time being, she watches with interest when he takes her hand and wraps it around his length, sighing softly at her touch. He's velvety soft, yet hard at the same time, and she marvels at the contrast. She strokes him experimentally, enjoying the small gasps he makes, the twitch in his hips he seems unable to control, the erratic way he's breathing. She thumbs the tip, smearing the bit of precum she finds there. He thrusts helplessly once, twice into her hand until she gets bolder, sliding down to cup his sac gently. He lets her play with him a little while longer, relishing her touch, until he can't take much more.

He halts her movements, to which she pouts adorably again but it soon disappears when he hooks both thumbs onto her panties to slowly slide them down her legs. With the last piece of garment gone, he places both palms over each knee to spread her thighs.

Despite all that they've done leading up to this moment, she's overcome with embarrassment with him staring at her like that and her whole body flushes. Still, she stubbornly keeps her legs open for him, lets him look as long as he likes.

In turn, he's very appreciative of the view, kissing the inside of her thigh, working his way towards the moist, dewy center where she needs it most. At the first brush of his lips on her hot flesh, she bucks hard, and he has to take a firm grip on her hips to keep her still. He tongues her thoroughly, flicks over the sensitive bundle of nerves a few times. He leaves no portion of flesh untasted, unexplored. She can't quite hold back her cries this time and a few throaty moans escape her parted lips.

He's floored by her response, humbled. He doesn't deserve her but she wants him, anyway. He wants to make her happy, if only for tonight. When he dips his tongue lovingly into her entrance, her thighs tremble in need.

"Ryoji... Please... please..." She gasps as he gives her a particularly pleasurable suckle, and he can't help but smirk, steals a glance at her. Half-lidded eyes stare back at him, dark with desire.

He leaves one last, lingering kiss between her legs, before he moves to cover her body with his, positioning himself at her opening. She smiles, looks up at him with such blatant affection, that his heart constricts.

"You're so beautiful, Minako-chan... especially like this." He pushes in as gently as he can, stopping for a while to pull out a bit, before thrusting back in, slightly deeper than before, then repeating the process. She's so deliciously tight; he has to make a great effort not to pound into her and lose control.

She tries to relax as best as she can but there's still some slight pain from the stretch. Still, she knows how careful he's being and she really appreciates it so she says nothing and instead focuses on his face, eyes shut tight and taut with pleasure. It gives her immense satisfaction to know that she can make him feel this way.

Finally, he's buried to the hilt. She's never felt so... full... before. It's not actually a bad feeling, just strange. By now the pain had faded to a dull ache and she grinds her hips hesitantly against his, earning herself a guttural groan from him. She does it again and it's starting to feel... good. Very good, actually.

At last, he gives her a proper thrust, hitting a spot inside of her that makes her toes curl. A few more thrusts and she's mewling into her pillow. He lifts both her legs up to hook them over his shoulders so he can thrust even deeper. The new angle lets him rub right over her most sensitive spot and she sobs his name brokenly. He catches her lips in a deep kiss to silence her cries, and she responds hungrily, moaning into his mouth. Before long, his movements speed up and become erratic. She's probably leaving half-moon marks on his shoulders with how tightly she's clutching him but he doesn't seem to notice.

Her release comes without warning, crashing into her like a wave, and it leaves her shuddering in its wake. He follows close behind, spilling himself hotly inside her with a deep groan. He can still feel her rhythmically clenching around him and he prolongs her pleasure for as long as he can, before collapsing in an exhausted heap on top of her.

When he shifts slightly to pull himself out and move his weight off of her, she wraps her legs tightly around his hips to keep him in place.

"Not yet," she murmurs drowsily.

He chuckles tiredly, nuzzling her neck in response. "You were pretty amazing, Minako-chan." She mumbles something unintelligible, cuddling closer to his warmth.

A long time passes before he regrettably remembers that there are other things to consider. Like school, tomorrow.

"I really should go." He says. "Your dorm mates must be getting suspicious."

"I wish you could stay."

"Me too. But Mitsuru-san will execute me if she finds out."

"She most likely will."

"Not even sugarcoating it, are you?" He laughs quietly, and the sound tugs her lips up into a smile. She's gratified to see him back to his old self, at least for now.

They're down at the lounge a short while later and fortunately, no one comments on his extended stay. Akihiko, Mitsuru and Yukari are all engaged in conversation but he can feel Aigis' stare boring holes onto the back of his head. He waves goodbye to Junpei, who wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at them and flashes a thumbs-up sign at him. Minako rolls her eyes.

They part just outside the dorm, and when she thinks no one's looking, she steals one last kiss before he leaves.

.

* * *

.

"Well, someone certainly looks bouncy this morning," Yukari remarks.

She's heading to school with Fuuka, Aigis and Yukari today, a rather rare occurrence. Usually, Yukari leaves early for archery practice, while Fuuka's still getting ready by the time she leaves the dorm. Aigis, of course, wakes her up five minutes before her alarm clock goes off.

There's no stopping the blush that colors her cheeks at Yukari's comment, and her friend pounces on her like a cat. "So, Ryoji-kun stayed in your room, yesterday. Did something happen? Cause you really look like a tomato right now."

Oh god. She probably can't get any redder. She's never been good at hiding her feelings. "I... W-well..." she stammers. What could she say? She's definitely not telling them what they did.

Fuuka, who'd been quiet all this time, glances shyly at her. "Um, M-minako-chan? I was closest to the door last night and... um... I hadn't meant to look... but the door is part glass, you know... and I saw you kiss Ryoji-kun goodbye."

"What!?" Yukari grinds to a halt. Aigis says nothing but frowns. Yukari moves to stand before her, looking intently in her eyes. "You like him?"

A tiny nod. Oh if you only knew...

"And he likes you back?"

She nods again. Yukari takes a moment to process this then sighs, bewildered. "He hits on every girl at school. How could you like someone like him, leader?"

She looks down. She hasn't seen him flirt with anyone since coming back from Kyoto, but his reputation certainly hasn't won him any points with Yukari. Still, she wants to make her friends understand, because they're important to her, too. "I... can't really explain it. But when I'm with him, I feel that he's sincere. That he really cares for me, and deeply. Sometimes, he gets so sad... just looking at me. Like he knows something's about to happen. I... really can't tell you why I feel like I do. It sounds so clichéd but I feel like he's someone I know. From long ago."

None of them see it, but Aigis' eyes widen in realization.

Fuuka smiles slightly at her. "I think it's beautiful." She smiles back gratefully.

Yukari sighs. "As long as he makes you happy and doesn't hurt you, then I won't get in the way. But I'll be honest, leader, I'm not entirely convinced he's good for you."

"He's not." All eyes turn to Aigis, who stood a few paces away from the group.

"Aigis?" she asks.

"I am sorry, Minako-san, but please go on ahead. I have to confirm something." With that, she leaves and the three girls are left staring.

When they arrive at school, Ryoji is nowhere to be found. Dread crawls up her spine as she stares at his empty desk. First Aigis, now this. The past few weeks had been a whirlwind of new feelings, discovery, and elation for her.

She'd almost forgotten that tonight, December 2nd, would be a full moon.

.

* * *

.

He knows now why it was Orpheus who answered her call first. He is "Death". His mere existence is proof that the Fall is inevitable. But Orpheus... According to mythology, Orpheus was a musician who descended into the Underworld, charmed his way to bring back his dead wife, but ultimately failed. Still, he came out alive. He overcame Death. It is only fitting that a persona like that be the one to protect her. Not him.

Acceptance doesn't make it hurt any less, though. To know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he will only bring misery to the most precious thing he has in this world is too cruel, too agonizing.

Especially now, when she'd accepted him, welcomed him. To come to his senses now... To remember everything. His purpose. His role. The truth about his very nature. He feels like he's deceived her, even unknowingly. And as he stares into Aigis' unblinking blue eyes, he's consumed by despair and guilt.

He is nothing but a shadow, sealed inside her for ten years, the harbinger of the Fall. It is only thanks to her that he was able to call himself "human" for a time.

"Palladion!" A determined glint appears in Aigis' eyes but he knows it's useless.

"Stop. Don't be foolish Aigis. There's no way you can win. I'm different than before." He doesn't want to hurt one of her friends.

"A machine is created for a purpose," Aigis responds. "Mine was to defeat you. I exist for nothing else."

He tries one last time. Begs. "It doesn't have to be that way." But she doesn't listen, charges at him intending to kill. He's too strong; she doesn't even get close. Aigis falls to her knees as parts of her burn out and fall to the ground. The light in her mechanical eyes grow dim.

.

* * *

.

This can't be happening. None of this is real. Every word out of Ryoji's mouth is a stab to her heart. The Appriser? Nyx? Ryoji is Pharos? She's having great difficulty wrapping her head around that.

She should be more concerned about the impending doom about to befall them, the spread of the Apathy Syndrome that would blanket the whole world. She should be more focused on the fact that none of them would see the coming spring and that there's nothing any of them could do about it. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knows these things should be her top priority.

And then he says something that shreds her heart into a million tiny pieces.

You'll have to kill me. If I were to disappear, all memories of the Dark Hour will disappear with me as would any recollection of the fate that awaits you. You won't remember anything. The coming of the Fall will be instantaneous and you will not suffer.

How can he say that so calmly? So... happily? As if he'd found the perfect solution.

"I could never kill you." She whispers, disbelief evident in her voice that he would even consider such a thing.

His anguished eyes land on hers. "You're so kind..." For a split second, they're the only two people in the room. "I'm sorry to put you through this. You don't know the terror of absolute death. Please, don't make your decision without thinking about what I've said." And she knows, that though the decision lies with all of them here, those words are for her alone.

"I'll be back on New Year's Eve." Having said his piece, he walks out of the dorm.

"Hey Ryoji! Wait!" Junpei jumps up. She's on her feet too, ready to run after him. But then Fuuka speaks up. "Wait! I can't sense him anymore. Ryoji-kun's no longer here."

He's gone. Disappeared. Just like Pharos.

.

* * *

.

It's funny how the coming of the end of the world doesn't prevent one from going back to school. Life goes on, she supposes, even one that's about to end.

She twirls her pen absently, staring out the window, while Miss Toriumi drones on about their next essay assignment.

Not even a goodbye. She muses to herself. She wonders where he is, what he's doing. He hasn't been coming to school anymore. Word's out that he's transferred again.

During the day, it's easy to forget. She has school and her friends as distractions. She moves mechanically. Puts one foot in front of the other. Her body knows what to do, day in and day out. At night, she goes to Tartarus as often as she dares without burning out her friends. Akihiko is all for it, but Fuuka and Yukari give her knowing glances. They never say anything and don't comment much if she happens to be a little more aggressive when defeating shadows.

Still, the excursions to Tartarus aren't nearly enough. At the end of the day when she lies on her bed staring at the ceiling, she can still imagine his arms around her. No matter how exhausted she is, the last thing she sees before drifting off is the look in his eyes when he tells her to kill him.

.

* * *

.

December 24. Christmas Eve.

Paulownia mall is more vibrant than it has ever been at any other time in the year but she walks past the lights and smiling people seeing nothing.

She's turned down every invitation from her friends and she's feeling a little guilty, but she really can't stand the thought of enjoying herself today.

Not when he might be alone, crying on Christmas eve.

When Junpei gives her a pitying look, and says that she probably wanted to spend Christmas with Ryoji, she almost breaks down right then and there, on the dorm's first floor lounge. That's when she decides that she has to get out, get some air, and collect her thoughts. She has no right to dampen anyone else's spirits. Especially not tonight.

She's left him several messages. Like she's been doing the whole month. The last one reads:

I don't want you to be alone tonight.

He doesn't reply. He never replies. Not since that night on the Moonlight Bridge.

Deep down, she knows why he's doing this. He's asked them — her — to kill him. He doesn't want to influence her decision, doesn't want to give her the slightest reason NOT to kill him. He doesn't want them to suffer. She knows this.

What he doesn't understand is that her mind is already made up. Had been since a month ago. She's scared but they've come this far and it isn't in her nature to run away. She senses that all the members of SEES feel this way. They would die fighting. All of them.

If only he could see what was in her heart.

.

* * *

.

It's her.

He feels like he hasn't seen her in a very long time though in reality, it's been barely a month. But he thinks about her every minute of every day, pictures her smile, hears her laughter in his mind, imagines the twinkle in her eyes when she looks at him. If he tries really hard, he can almost feel the warmth of her skin, her soft breath on his lips. Their last time together is a bittersweet memory he can't ever get out of his head, but he welcomes the pain. It's proof that even for a short while, he lived.

He misses her so badly and her messages don't help. She's lonely and it's breaking his heart that he's the cause of it. But he has to hold firm. For her sake and for the sake of those she holds dear.

He drinks in the sight of her, face turned up towards the largest Christmas tree near the fountain, a melancholic look on her face. He wonders briefly why she's alone. She should be having fun with her friends. It's their last Christmas after all.

Later on, he'll berate himself, call himself every kind of fool because he'd stood there, like an idiot, on the balcony of the Mandragora a little too long. Too greedily basking in her presence to notice that she'd turned her head and was staring straight at him in stunned silence, eyes wide and shimmering underneath the Christmas lights. Later, he will regret leaving his room at all tonight, risking her chance to avoid immense suffering for something so inconsequential as his yearning to experience the holiday, to see the sights, to hear the carols, to feel human... just a little bit longer.

But, in the present, none of these thoughts enter his head. He's captivated by her eyes, the eyes he keeps seeing every time he closes his own and it's like his first day in Gekkoukan all over again when they make eye contact for the first time. The wind whips her auburn hair back and then she's running, climbing the steps towards him two at a time.

.

* * *

.

"You're here." Her voice cracks.

She holds up trembling fingers to touch his cheek, as if she needs to reassure herself that he's really here, much like the way he needed her touch to confirm his existence.

"I shouldn't be." He says and the sadness in his voice makes her want to break apart. She takes one step, two steps, and falls into his arms with a sob.

"You shouldn't cry, Minako-chan." He tells her gently, one hand coming around to rest lightly on her back. "Especially not for me."

She cries even harder, burying her face in his chest. Part of his yellow scarf gets caught in between and she soaks the fabric in her tears. Her shoulders shake with emotion and she doesn't think she's ever cried this hard in her life.

She's relieved at seeing him, angry at his lack of response to her messages, despondent over their situation as a whole, and simply suffering from an aching heart. She's overwhelmed. She can't help but let it all out.

A long time passes before she's able to form words again. "I missed you so much."

She feels him hesitate and it breaks her heart all over again, fresh tears pooling in her eyes.

"I... I feel like my presence will cloud your decision. I... really should go. We'll see each other again next week." His voice sounds strained and a tiny bit of hope flares in her chest. Maybe... maybe he misses her, too.

"No."

"Minako-chan..." he starts and she snaps watery, red-rimmed eyes to his.

"I know it hasn't been all that long since I met you... and it's irrational that I feel this way. But I do... I feel like I've known you forever and... you've become an important part of my life. I... I just want to stay by your side... like you asked me to. Please let me do that. Please..."

He looks as broken as she feels, like he's struggling within himself. "Minako-chan... That was before... Before I remembered what I am."

"Do you have any idea how it feels? To know that the world will end and that the only way to end everyone's suffering is to kill the one person I care for most? And if that isn't enough, his death has to come from my hands. Mine."

She looks deep into his eyes, eyes that were once so blue and clear, now dull and haunted. "If our roles had been reversed, would it be easy for you to kill me?"

.

* * *

.

He swallows past the lump in his throat. She... she really cares for him this much. His heart suddenly feels so full, as if it could burst with overwhelming happiness, and for a moment, for one beautiful moment, his resolve crumbles. He'll make her happy, make her smile, do anything she wants...and never, ever make her cry again...

But that would be extremely selfish. In exchange for one short, fleeting, blissful moment, she and her friends will endure immeasurable suffering.

It's unforgivable. He has to stand firm.

He has to.

She needs to kill him.

So he steels himself for what he's about to tell her. "I could never kill you, my dearest. But as Fate would have it, our roles are not reversed and the decision is not mine to make. I beg of you, when the time comes, please kill me. Only you can do it."

Tears are streaming down her face again and it is by sheer force of will that he manages to extricate himself from her embrace, walk past her, and disappear into the night.

.

* * *

.

New Year's Eve.

He's back. Just as he promised. He's here to give them a choice. One that's been left up to her. And he's not taking no for an answer.

"I didn't want to have to do this but I have no choice."

Before her eyes, his human appearance melts away, leaving a hovering, monstrous figure in its wake. The ring of coffin lids, the misshapen mask, the black, flowing garment and pale skin, she's seen this persona before. The strongest in Death's arcana: Thanatos.

"You see. I'm not even human. You have to kill me... Please."

Whatever he thought she would do or say, it was not this.

"It was you."

What?

"It was you," she repeats. "That day. When I first called upon Orpheus. It was you who took over."

He wishes she didn't have to remind him of the shame of that night. It was one of his greatest regrets, along with merely existing. So he hangs his head.

"There are no words to describe how ashamed I am for losing control like that, for making you spend all of your energy and landing you in the hospital."

"You wanted to protect me." It's not a question.

"That's no excuse."

She moves closer to him, steps into the half-circle of his coffin lids and he thinks that she looks so small, so fragile, before this abomination that is himself. She reaches out a hand, and he is struck by a vision of her on Christmas eve, doing the exact same thing. But her fingers land not on his cheek, but on the smooth, cold mask that Thanatos wears.

"In whatever shape or form, you are Ryoji. Even when you were still Pharos, with no memories of who you were, you still wanted to protect me. And even in this shape..."

She moves closer still, finally resting her cheek on his chest, both arms coming around to embrace him. She's warm. So... warm.

"Even as Thanatos, you're still you. And you should know by now, I could never kill you."

"Minako-chan..."

Slowly, Thanatos fades away and he reverts back to being Ryoji. She suddenly finds herself wrapped in his familiar arms. There is a distinct dampness on her shirt where his face rests on her shoulder and she hugs him even tighter, wishing with all her heart that time would just stop and they could have this moment forever.

"Do you remember?" she whispers. "You once asked me about the red string of fate."

"I remember."

"And you said someone told you about it."

Yes. He remembers it with such clarity now. "It was Igor."

"You know Igor?" Wait. Of course he does. Pharos was the one who gave her the contract when she first came to the dorm. She lifts her head and ponders this for a while, then lets out a soft, breathy laugh. "I haven't even told SEES that much about the Velvet Room. You're the only other person who's seen it. It really must be destiny. For me to be standing there in the Moonlight Bridge, for Aigis to seal you inside me, for us to reunite and..." she trails off.

"And...?"

"Fall in love."

For the first time that night, he smiles.

.

* * *

.

It won't be long now, she thinks. Nyx is sealed, the Dark Hour and Tartarus gone. They did it.

It's Graduation Day. Her memories are starting to return. And Aigis... Aigis never forgot. But it's all over now, and for that, she's grateful.

From where she lays her head on Aigis' lap, the sky looks so blue and the warm sunlight and the gentle wind feels so nice on her skin. The voices of her friends seem to come to her from a great distance. She thinks she hears all of them, even Shinjiro-senpai... That makes her happy.

But she's getting very tired... so tired.

She closes her eyes.

.

* * *

.

Wake up.

Wake up, Minako-chan.

She doesn't want to. She's having a really nice dream. Even with her eyes closed, her eyebrows scrunch together in mild annoyance.

She hears laughter and the voice is back. You're really stubborn, you know that? And adorable. I used to watch you sleep long ago.

She cracks open an eye. "That's a really creepy thing to say, I'll have you know."

He grins, blue eyes dancing with amusement. She sits up and absentmindedly runs a hand through her auburn hair to check if sleep had mussed it too much. He catches sight of something on her hand and his breath hitches.

"You're wearing it."

She glances at the ring on her right hand. His ring. The one he gave her just before he left on New Year's Eve. The very same one he bought in Kyoto. It's larger than most of her fingers so she wears it on her thumb. She fears that if she keeps it in her pocket, she might lose it.

"Well, of course. After Nyx... I... I never thought I'd see you again. It was the only thing I had left."

"That makes me really happy."

She stands up, and for the first time, takes in her surroundings. Everywhere she looks, it is a dazzling white. "Where are we?"

"This is where I slept before I needed to wake up to lead you to my missing pieces."

"You mean, the ten years before I knew you as Pharos?"

"Yes."

"I'm here... because I sealed Nyx?"

"Yes." He gestures towards her right and she sees a massive door that hadn't been there before amidst the sea of white. "Nyx is sealed." He confirms. "Until one of two things happen. The first, the dark desires of the masses grow so powerful that they call upon Nyx again so she becomes strong enough to break the seal..."

"You'd be free then, won't you?" she asks.

"Yes. I'd wake up and become the Appriser again to herald her coming."

"And the other one?"

"If someone decides to rescue you, to bring you back into the real world, they'd break the seal and free Nyx again."

She thinks about this. No, the members of SEES know exactly how much this victory had cost them. They'd fought knowing full well that they might die. They would never undo all that they had accomplished. But in the off chance it actually happened...

"We'll just have to defeat Nyx all over again," she states.

He smiles at her confidence. "In both cases, we'd both be freed and the cycle will start anew. I will have my role to play and you will have to stop Nyx again. But..."

"There's no guarantee that we'll be able to defeat her next time." she finishes for him.

He nods slowly and after a while, she shrugs. "We'll just have to deal with it when the time comes. But right now, I'm happy we were able to protect everyone and also..."

She takes his hands in each of hers and moves close to him so that they are only inches apart. Even in this void, her skin radiates a warmth that permeates his very soul. "What you're telling me is that we'll never be apart. This is how I choose to see it. We're tied together, you and I."

"I'm sorry. It's not ideal. This isn't the fate I would've wanted for us... For you." His face falls.

But she shakes her head. "I get to spend eternity with the one person I treasure most in the world." She lets go of his hands to drape her arms around his neck while his own move to gather her close in a gentle embrace. "I love you, Ryoji."

He nuzzles her neck softly and breathes in the nostalgic scent of her. "I love you, too, my dearest."


End file.
